Saturday, January 28, 2017

Pace of life

I made an observation of myself, I don't know how to slow down. 

I don't know how to take a back seat or slowly enjoy a cup of coffee. 

When I order a cup of coffee, I finish it much faster than the rest and I find myself somewhat grudgingly waiting for others to finish. I get bored easily. 

I am constantly finding more things to do or be occupied with. I am not living in the present. I constantly find myself thinking about what's my next step? How can I plan my next steps to get things done faster so that I can hop onto something else (not necessarily big life matters, sometimes just random daily stuff). 

And because I put such precision thoughts into planning or looking forward to next steps, I get extremely frustrated when my self-declared-best-plan-ever gets disrupted. I don't get over them fast or easy enough.

I am impatient. Very impatient.

I also feel that I'm not willing to subscribe to discomfort of any kind. I simply feel that I no longer need to. Life is short.

Having said the above, I'm not saying it's right but I know I feel damn righteous about it a lot of times.

I am aware of the repercussions of behaving this way and the things it does to people around me and the relationships around me. I feel annoyance when I feel my time is wasted. 

I probably am at a stage whereby I am unsure if I should change or I am actually comfortable with the way I am. 

I feel that if u work very hard and times when I choose n decide to zone out, I zone out. I do not want disturbance. It's like my right of way.

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